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Weird Routing & That’s Amore

I’m constantly amazed at what people search for and how such weird requests seem to direct them to my blog. Someone yesterday searched for “depressed on your birthday”. Well, if that isn’t depressing enough in itself – really! I probably wasn’t of much help as my entry was all about the fact that my birthday January 24th has been mathematically proven to be the most depressing day of the year. Hopefully it cheered them up a bit.

The other one is a regular search for “Andino’s menu’s”. When you search for that you get directed to me half slagging off a mafia-owned restaurant in Providence, Rhode Island. The thing that worried me about that one is that I have had repeat searches on that over the last few months and in a moment of great paranoia imagined that Mr Andino had in fact read my entry and had got the mob onto me. I imagine his call to go something like this:

Mr Andino: Hey, there’s this broad in England that’s making me lose business Paulie. You gotta help me out here.

Paulie: Don’t worry Mr Andino, consider it done. Tony has some cousins who are looking into it right now. Let’s say it’s gonna be business as usual from Saturday and the broad’s goin’ on a looong holiday somewhere very cold.

Mr Andino (a little heated): Well you do that Paulie I’m bustin’ my balls here. Pause. Which Tony? Tony the Greek? Little Tony?

Paulie: No New Tony. Two Tone.

Mr Andino: Two Tone? Which Tony is that? (Exasperated in a Joe Pesci type of way) Christ why are there so many Tony’s these days Paulie?

Paulie: We call him Two Tone because he’s schizo – you know….when he was in prison the doctor said he had two sides to his personality so we called him Two Tone.

Mr Andino: Whatever, whatever. Just get my restaurant packed out by Saturday. Do what you have to do!

OK – I’ve got a bit carried away but you were hooked all the same! But seriously, if you are ever in Providence Rhode Island go to Andino’s – it’s great! And I didn’t really slag it off I just complained about how horrible American meat is in general. Andino’s was fabulous – great atmosphere, great Sinatra, the best Italian wine I’ve ever had and Mr Andino’s signature sauce is to die for – pardon the pun. If you are lucky – he makes an appearance at the bar most nights which is quite exciting. Well, I was excited but I did have jet lag at the time.


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