Meme. Oh it’s all the rage you know – so I have jumped on the memewagon while it is trundling down the road – a smattering of my favourite bloggers The Urban Woo, Billy, and Slaminsky have done it too. Here goes:
1. My uncle once: threatened my Grandmother’s unrequited lesbian stalker with a steel fire poker
2. Never in my life: been skiiing
3. When I was five: I stuck silver stars on my face and pouted 4. High school was: unforgivably the worst
5. I will never forget: my friend who I wish was still alive
6. Once I met: Diana Dors at a film premiere as a child
7. There’s this girl I know: whose passive aggressive nature really upsets me
8. Once, at a pub: I poured a whole pint of beer over a bloke’s head who was patronising me as he dumped me – he was a really screwed up psychoanalyst who eventually left the profession 9. By noon, I’m usually: starting to lose concentration
10. Last night: I tried to get my partner to understand it was better for him to move out than disrupt our child further by me and our child moving out
11. If only I had: a magic flying carpet
12. Next time I go to church: it will probably be for my beloved and most favourite godfather’s funeral – I am dreading it.
13. What worries me most: me or my son dying in a freak accident and apart
14. When I turn my head left I see: a lovely dark chocolate brown Robin Day Forum sofa and me reflected in a big mirror behind it
15. When I turn my head right I see: fruit, a book by Ronan Bennett, plasticine that has been cut into dalek shapes, the garden
16. You know I’m lying when: I insist and my voice goes so unbearably shrill it could shatter a glass
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: being able to wear really slutty clothes and get away with it and fun
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: in the Comedy of Errors
19. By this time next year: I’ll have hopefully sorted out what is currently plaguing me
20. A better name for me would be: Ms A Polaris – like a missile and straight to the point 21. I have a hard time understanding: sudoku – why does it exist?
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: burn it down
23. You know I like you if: I invite you to places and chat incessantly in a very open way
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the person that gave me the break in the first place
25. Take my advice, never: lie – it’s so disappointing
26. My ideal breakfast is: scrambled or soft-boiled eggs on toast with ketchup and hot chilli sauce and a light dusting of freshly ground black pepper
27. A song I love but do not have is: “Don’t You Think I’m Psycho Mama”? by Leon White (weird Country and Western) 28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: have a pint by the pond
29. Why won’t people: stop being so horrible to children?
30. If you spend a night at my house: you would be cooked for, have endless wine poured into your glass, have lots of chats and probably stay up far too late – there would be lots of laughter, music and even an odd game of Scrabble if you are lucky and you would be encouraged to help yourself to anything and you would have towels that would be placed neatly at the bottom of your bed
31. I’d stop my wedding for: someone else suddenly coming along at the last minute who was the ‘real one’
32. The world could do without: BT, McDonalds and the politics of fear 33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have to go on the game for a living
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Cate Blanchett, Debbie Harry, Captain Sensible and Iggy Pop
35. Paper clips are more useful than: those string tie document fastener thingys
36. If I do anything well it’s: because I can’t bear unthoroughness
37. I can’t help but: worry about stuff past gone or in the future
38. I usually cry: really easily – even on the train reading a sad story in the free newspaper
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: do what you like and be who you like but don’t bother with hard drugs
40. And by the way: life is what you make it