top of page

I’m NOT A Celebrity…Get ME out of here!!

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here should be re-titled:

I’m An E-list has-been fuckwit – Kick Me or

I’m Someone No-one Actually Knows or Cares About – Please Leave Me Here

F*@cking hell, I’ve just had to endure half of tonight’s I’m A Celebrity… due to sadly obsessed stepson who made us watch it. Feel strangely defiled by having to ingest such utter inanity. From where I’m sitting you have to be

(a) really desperate to go on it and have no sense of self-worth (b) have just come out of re-hab (like we give a shit) (c) need to go back to re-hab (d) have no career whatsoever (apart from big-teeth Janet – she is an intelligent person – what’s she doing??) (e) be boring in the extreme

Is there no end to reality dross on tv ? I watched the first Big Brother and a bit of the second series although I blame childbirth for that. After having my child I used to sit up breastfeeding at two in the morning watching crap Jerry Springer/Judge Judy/Ricki and anything I could set my eyes on on cable. I think the lack of sleep and plummetting hormones made me secretly want to be trailer trash. I’m better now – obviously otherwise I would have gaily sat through tonight’s pile of poop and really enjoyed it. Oh, and I can’t believe that broken boy band saddo Brian Harvey thinks that a ‘proper meal’ is a Big Mac and Fries. Get a life mate. Take me back to the sanatorium – it was nice and fluffy and warm there……..

Recent Posts

See All

We Are Family

Two years ago today I won an Award of Merit for a tiny black and white film I directed and shot with Super Producer and all round music genius Nile Rodgers. The film was made before Nile went triple s


bottom of page