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Gank Genk Gink Gonk Gunk


Hands up who had a gonk? Am I showing my age? What on earth possessed people to

(a) make these ? (b) buy them ? (c) collect them ?

I had a few – a turquoise fun fur one, a really ugly brown one that got bullied by the other gonks and my favourite one which was made of pale sugared-almond-pink rabbit fur. Actually it may have been baby kitten fur for all I know as it was handmade by my evil Nana. I had a nice ‘Gran’ and an evil ‘Nana’. It was evil Nana that made me the gonks. I ended up getting quite bored of them and donated them to a really square girl who lived across the road from me called Rosemary. Rosemary had much older parents than mine and was really good. She never got into trouble and only ever wore skirts – and never dressed in anything unless it was static-inducing nylon.


She was always smiling despite the fact she never came out to play much or join in our mammoth riding up and down the street on our bikes sessions. I once invented a “Secret Spy Club” but didn’t invite her to join because she was too boring and wouldn’t bring biscuits to the meetings which was a proviso for joining. But quietly we were all a bit envious of Rosemary as she had a huuuge gonk collection and that was why we wanted to spy on her. The rumour went that she actually had a human size gonk amongst her 70-proud gonk collection but no one was ever allowed in to see them. Even after Rosemary had finally left home her mother said that she had kept her room as it was complete with full gonk collection. I am surprised she could get in it for all the gonks but there you go.


I always wondered what happened to Rosemary and her gonks.

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