Arrived at Abbie’s mum’s house. Abbie was still at a specialists appointment so I let myself in and made a cup of tea.
Preparing myself for the worst – there is a wheelchair in the living room and straws for drinking. It is a bit bewildering preparing yourself for something you can’t really prepare for. The phone is going alot which must be tiring in itself. The saddest things I can see are the little shoes by the fromt door and the children’s toys here and there. How does a four year old cope with losing a mother? What do you do when they need her there and she isn’t there anymore? The whole thing is beyond heart-breaking. I hate cancer and I hate what it does to people physically and emotionally. It is the most evil, useless thing on earht and I don’t know why it is here. Why are things so unexplainable? Would there be nothing left, no challenge in life if everything could be made sense of? It seems a little harsh to me.