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Je Suis Un Metal Detector Man


So while the rest of The Rolling Stones are literally rolling in it from constant sell-out tours around the globe twice over, Bill Wyman has launched his very own signature metal detector. See here. The site really made me laugh – it’s even got one of those special offers style stickers on it saying ‘as seen on Richard & Judy!’. I guess if Richard and Judy endorse your product then you know you’re laughing?

At or with? And whilst we are on the subject of laughing – what is it about people with metal detectors that look so funny? And why would you really want one that costs twice as much as all the others just because it’s got Bill Wyman’s signature in embossed white plastic on it?


Surely it should have some other unique features such as search-mode should have a repeat of Keith’s opening melody from Gimme Shelter trickling away instead of the usual beepy electronic drone? Or when you’ve actually found a penny or a discarded bicycle nut it could screech ‘Gimme gimme gimme your honky tonk blues!’. Yes, that would be more like it. Bill’s written a book too because as well as funding restaurants that give you sticky fingers he is also quite good at archaeology hence the need for a metal detector. To be fair – his is a special lightweight version of the usual lump that people lumber around ancient fort sites with their long-suffering children or annoy beach-goers on holiday with. Perhaps Bill will bring out a further signature range of special metal detector clothing – socks, sandals, signed Reactolite Rapides – that sort of thing…

Photo’s © Bill Wyman Metal Detector and main pic © The Rockmother in Aus 2003

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